I didn't do it!

It's like 3am right now, and I'm bored. I should have gone to the gym tonight, but I vetoed myself. For some reason I thought I might be sleeping right now or something? I don't know. Anyways, I was standing at the front door and saw a few splotches of blue ink on the walls and on the floor, and I couldn't help remembering how they got there.

A month or two ago I walked through the living room to the kitchen to start dinner. A few seconds later something clicked in my head. Did I see what I think I saw? I love it how when you're programmed to tune into kids there's that delayed response when something is out of whack. Like you're on the phone having a very important discussion and suddenly you realize that the house is way too quiet and you can't remember how long it's been too quiet. Then you have that split second of panic until you locate the kids, make sure they haven't destroyed anything important, and make sure they're still alive so that if they have destroyed something important you can kill them. Not literally, of course.

So I go back into the living room to see blue spots and splotches covering the entire floor. It was EVERYWHERE. Not only the floor, but the dog's white coat was speckled, and all three of the kids are sitting there like nothing happened. It didn't take long to figure out who the culprit was. I stared at him, and he stared right back at me. This is how it went:

Me: "What happened, Matthew." Not a question, a statement.
Him: "I dunno."
Me: "What happened, Matthew."
Him: "Ummm, welllll.......somehow a pen flew up into the fan and exploded and now I'm covered in blue."
Me: "You mean you THREW the pen at the ceiling fan and it broke, right?"
Him: "I guess so."

Here I must add that my statements *may* not have been as calm as they seem. I *may* have been borderline psychotic at this moment. Maybe. About 45 minutes later, Matthew is still on hands and knees with the kitchen cleaner and a rag trying to scrub up his mess. Only problem is, kitchen cleaner doesn't take ink off of laminated flooring, so I end up on MY hands and knees scrubbing the floor with dish soap. An hour after that I've bribed Jordyn into helping me, and 30 minutes after that I've given up on being a perfectionist. Hence the reason why there are still patches of blue ink on my floor.

That is all.